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alice falling

It is a very interesting experience to be the writer, producer and actor in a show. While all three roles root for the same show to succeed, they measure success in very different ways.

 My writer brain is very pleased.

a.)   Lynne and Sean have been EXTREMELY flattering with how much they love the script, think it’s brilliant and say things like “this is the funniest script I’ve read in a very long time”

b.)   It’s nice to have written something that is a lot of fun for actors and also offer so much room for additional silly bits, gags and jokes.

c.)    After years of thinking that I really needed to rework parts, it turns out that it works a lot better than I had thought. Oh me of little faith…

 

My Actor brain is having a great time!

a.)   I get to be physical

b.)   Our directors let us play and explore

c.)    I get to use more body parts than just my legs and boobs (it’s been a while…)

d.)   Though I still haven’t settled on all my voice choices or character physicality, it’s really fun and challenging to have 5 different characters to have to differentiate between

e.)    Couldn’t ask for a better cast and group of people to work with

f.)      People go out of their way to try to make things better for everyone (thanks for the teas Dandre)

g.)   Rehearsal time flies by. Considering we rehearse after a full day or work or on Sunday night when you just want to be lazy, that’s saying something.

h.)    I laugh a lot. And then we laugh some more.

It’s always good practice to count your blessings and this show has a great many blessings for me to count and be thankful for.

My Producer brain… well that’s a bit more bipolar.

I am very grateful that Darcey and Andre come to all the rehearsals and get to enjoy that side of it, because otherwise producing (at least right now) is definitely more of a mixed bag of emotions. Every little success sends me skyrocketing with hope and exhilaration that we are making it happen! Every little road bump seems like a wee tragedy and must be mourned. People liking our No Porpoise Facebook page is thrilling and makes me feel like a kid when people want to come to my party. And our kickstarter slump (Big start- was over the moon excited! We danced and wiggled lots and then it slowed to a complete stop) was a little heartbreaking actually. Yes, I suppose I am taking these things too personally but it is hard not to when this show is actually very representative of my whole personality. It’s definitely got Katie DNA in it.

It stinks asking for money. It stinks even more to be told we are getting money and then to not get it after all because of reasons outside of our control. What a fake out! It’s frustrating that people dreams cost nothing, when in fact execution of those dreams can cost quite a bit.

And yet….

The people who have donated on Kickstarter or emailed their congratulations and excitement about the show in general have warmed my heart! People I haven’t seen in years or people I have, it’s been really incredible to feel their love, support and generosity. Such generosity!! Where we were hoping for primarily $5 and $10 donations, we’ve been overwhelmed with most of our donors contributing $50 or more! That kindness is extremely gratifying and hope inspiring. It helps fuel my fire of faith that this could be more than just a one-time thing and that we are on the right track. You know the part in Miracle on 34th Street where everyone puts up signs to say that they believe in Santa Claus? It feels kind of like that. And that part always makes me cry so… To our supporters, we can’t express how grateful we are and how keenly we feel your support! Even exclamation marks don’t really capture our gratitude.

So as you can see, it’s a bit exhausting and emotionally draining producing a show for the first time. Maybe it’s like that producing a show for the 50th time (I sincerely hope not!) but I can only speak from my own experience. Such was my mental state last night that I coined a new word: Fraliced. From “Frazzled” meaning “to wear away along the edges, to fray, to exhaust physically or emotionally” and “Alice” which I think is pretty obvious.

Fraliced I think will be in frequent use the next couple months… you are allowed to use it in your daily life too!

Sometimes we just need to rant a bit to let out some steam.

I don’t know if steam has in fact been released, but at least this helps keep things in perspective and takes a bit of the sting out. It feels like productivity to put thoughts into words, especially as I promised a little insight into “behind the scenes” of creating a show.

To good news is, I’m not in it alone. Poor Alice fell down the rabbit hole all by herself; I fell with lots of friends. Thank goodness for that!